"... I think F. is truly susceptible to kindness -- and who is not? His
[?] has been very bad in this respect and I mourn in bitterness of spirit
that myself have miserably blended love and firmness in my management of
him -- I cannot tell you Marie the agony I feel and have felt in the [?]
of the impatience -- [?from] -- seventy -- which I have manifested toward
him. Oh! if I could only [?] the past -- and begin again! But my regrets
are unavailing -- and I can only weep tears of blood over my
unfaithfulness -- not to say cruelty in his government."
Ludlow, Henry G., letter to Marie Tappen, 17 January 1851.
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