The Ancient Art of Bongology

Ever since the first stoner put lighter to herb, there has been a desire for smoother smoke.

Over thousands of years of use by various cultures, many methods have been used. From throwing the herb on a fire in a cave to constructing a high-tech vaporizer bong...

Many of those who partake in the sweet leaf eventually turn their hand to the ancient art of bongology. We hope to help this art to prosper, compiling smoking paraphernalia from all corners of the global cannabis culture.

Enjoy these bong concepts, and mail yours to freako@suburbia.apana.org.au with the Subject: Bongology

Reader's Bongs!

I have fond memories of a 5-foot tall (4-inch diameter) plexiglass mother, with a frosted-glass plug carburator release. It took a 3-man crew to operate: a fireman to light the bowl while the assistant toker hit on it, just to fill the column with smoke. Then, once the plug was inserted at the bowl-hole, the chief toker built up some suction at the top of the column, and then the fireman pulled the plug. The chief toker had to be standing right in front of a soft chair when the plug was pulled!

-- dr foo


I am writing this in memory of a truly beautiful bong. The bong being discussed was made in those glory days of high school, 85-87 for me. I had been smoking pot since I was twelve, but although I had owned pipes, I had not up to that point owned a bong.

In my sophomore year I signed up for Chemistry 1. Fridays were lab days, and as I walked into the lab for the first time my mind, highly stoned as usual, began making wonderful connections to the equipment I saw. The glass piping, beakers, jars, rubber stoppers, and rubber hoses beckoned me as I sat down and started playing with them. As the teacher droned out her bullshit, I chose my pieces carefully and stashed them in my backpack.

That night, after smoking a fattie, I sat down to assemble. The body, or water container was what I want to call a beaker, but it wasn't. At least I don't think it was. It had a beaker-like neck that ended in a slightly protruding, round lip, and the body was large and circular, about eight inches in diameter at its fattest. The neck was about an inch and a half in diameter, and the base of the body was flat. To this I added a rubber stopper, which I inserted into the mouth of the neck. The stopper had three holes in it. In one hole, I put a curved elbow. Each section of the elbow was about an inch and a half long. To the exposed end of the elbow, I fit a rubber hose about eighteen inches long. To the second hole, I added the bowl/stem piece. The stem just touched the bottom of the body and was clipped, allowing air to get in. The bowl was a true beaut'. It was round and tapered steadily out from the top of the stem. The bowl/stem piece looked exactly like an over-sized martini glass if the glass had a hollow stem and no base. The third hole was left empty and served as a thumb carb. Less than two minutes of assembly and I was the proud new owner of a truly wonderous bong.

The bong was exceptional in my mind for a number of reasons. First and foremost was the size of the bowl. The bowl could hold a half ounce without being too tightly packed, and it often did in the year that followed. Another reason was the rate and efficiency with which the thing burned buds. A half ounce between six people was gone in twelve to fifteen hits depending on the lung-capacity of the smokers. Quarters went in about eight hits, and eighths about five. The thing fed the smoker so much smoke at once, that an incredibly stony high was the result every time.

Granted it used a lot of pot at once, but it was definitely worth it. Besides, buds were dirt cheap in those days. Remember the glorious eighties? The general practice was to smoke an eighth between three or a single joint between two. Single joints were especially fun. It took three hits to kill a good fat joint.

Many, many, many were the times that my best friend, "Iron Lungs," and I sat up smoking joints in the bong and watching Jeopardy. The first person to take a hit, got a nice clean smoke, and when they got the bong back, they were rewarded with a stubby, highly resinated roach, that sucked down easily.

Because the first person to hit the thing got two hits, everyone always wanted to hit first. We solved this problem with a couple of house rules. Since it was my bong, I always got first hit from the first joint, regardless if it was my weed or not. After that, it was up for grabs. To claim it, a smoker had to call out "first hit." I was excluded from "first hit," for the next couple of rounds, but after that I was in it, too. It was truly comic to watch utterly baked people racing each other to get the words out first. Many a time the words "first hit" were yelled triumphantly in my room at the back of the house.

Another reason the thing was good, the body held about 24 ounces of water, and the neck was perfect size to accomodate ice cubes. The thing was virtually maintenance free. I did have to replace the bowl/stem piece a couple of times as sometimes the bowl would seperate from the stem. The rubber hose had to be replaced occasionally because it got rank on the inside and we never came up with a way to clean it out.

Another great thing about it, was the price. A killer bong that came free. Compliments of Porterville High School!

The bong was named many things over the year and a half of its use, primarily it was known simply as "the monster," but my friend, "Iron Lungs," and I were the only ones to know its true name. On the first night of it's use we dubbed it "The Pascal Panther." Pascal for the chemistry roots and panther because that was the mascot of the High School I had stolen it from.

As far as I know it was the only one of its kind. At least from that Chemistry class. All the other bodies had round bases and could not stand on their own. Therefore, they were not used.

"The Pascal Panther" was lost forever a year and a half after its creation. I was shipped off to various California institutions to be cured of my deviant, adolescent ways. When I first got locked up, I tried to call "Iron Lungs," and have him get the bong out of my room, but they didn't let me make a phone call for the first 72 hours, and by the time I did get a hold of him, my parents had already disposed of it. I mourned at length.

That's it. An ode to a truly beautiful bong. I'm interested in anyone elses bong stories. Email me at address below with that or anything else. Love, peace, and sex grease. And as always, "First hit!"

samwolf@ecst.csuchico.edu
Sam Wolf, Esq.


One particulary different type of bong that I had back in my early teens was one that my father made for me.

We called it a baby-bong (he also had a large ceramic bong of confucious which he called the old-man). But back to the subject. It was a medicine bottle with a child-proof top.

He took a soldering iron to melt a hole in the top. He had me pick up a test tube stopper from the science labs at my school with 2 holes in it. He somehow got ahold of to small gauge stainless steel small lengths of pipes. {check your hardware stores -- Ed} He put a bowl on the end of one which reached down into a small amount of water and on the other he put a wooden bead on the tip to make it a mouthpiece.

I regretfully have to say that I gave it to a friend of mine when I left Colorado though. But hey, I'm a Chem major now. Test tube tops here I come!

Lord Nug


Here's a bong that is quite popular in Switzerland.

You need:

First, puncture a hole in one of the eyes of the coconut and drink the milk. The hole should be just thick enough to put the small stick in. Make a big hole next to the small one, and this hole should be the size of the big bamboo. Here comes the hard part. Now you have to scrape all the inside out with a spoon or a knife just through that hole. That takes alot of patience and devoted work. Smoke a J in the meantime. Be sure you scrape all the food out, because the coco does rot and start to smell bad if you don't get it out.

If you stick the two bamboo sticks the according holes, you should be able to imagine what the end product will look like. Now all you need to do is carve the rock, goes well with a Swiss army knife. The rock that I used was soft enough that I could scrape it with my fingernail and see the line clearly. But make sure the rock does not crumble, that it is a sturdy and soft. I don't know what these rocks are called in english, but I'm sure you can find a good one if you go to a carving, stone, or tombstone shop. You want to carve the rock, so it is a tunnel. One side should be the thickness of the small stick, and the other side should be wide; the longer or wider it is on the top, the more pot you can fit in.

Woah, you're finished. Pour water in the bong, but watch out, the coconut can crack if it is placed in too much water after being dry for too long. Place a small rock (pebble) into the big rock to act as a filter. Not a filter as in cigarettes which takes in all the shit, but a filter that keeps the herb from falling through the stick and into the water. Make sure everything fits tightly, i.e. No air coming through any of the cracks. If it is too loose, you can place some leather or cloth into those places to tighten the area. Be creative! Make some designs on the bong. You can make wonderful designs in the rock, it's easier to carve than you think. If you mess up and need to start all over again, cut the nut in half and you can use it as an ashtray...

Have fun!

Marty


Now, if any of you have ever used a Gravity Bong, you will know how powerful it is. I have played many a trick and shaved many an eyebrow on/from several friends who passed out after using this little devil.

It is reccommended that (for those of you with parents and legal guardians) you use this when you aren't expecting any interruptions for a couple of hours. It is quite stinky, bulky, and messy, so be forewarned.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED

WHAT YOU WILL DO

Okay, you got your stuff, you have about 10 people coming over in about 10 minutes and you need your implement of destruction. Chop off the very bottom of the 2 liter bottle (the part that has the molded 3 legs). Fill the bucket until it comes up the the last 2 inches of the bottleneck on the bottle. (This is with the bottle standing up straight in the water bucket)

Take the cap and punch a hole in it so that
a)The threads on the bowl fit tightly in and form a good seal
b)It's in about the center of the bottle cap

Go ahead and load the bowl, and pack it well. This type of bong uses a lot of weed, but you get super ripped. Place the bottle in the water with the cap off, so you don't risk blowing the bowl everywhere as you set the bottle down in the water. Screw on your cap enough that it is tight, but easily unscrewed.

Take a lighter and hold it above the bowl. Light it and slowly pull up on the bottle and watch the thick, rich, milky smoke pour into the bottle. Stop whenyou feel is necessary, or if you're really bad ass, until the bottom of the bottle is about an inch under the surface of the water. Unscrew the cap, put your mouth on the opening, and slowly push the bottle back into the water and suck in your hit.

NOTE: Be prepared to cough soon after hitting the bong. There is almost two litres of smoke pouring into your body with this contraption, so look out!

This is also a test of the smokers' ablity. Those who can fill the bottle so that it is so thick, the smoke inside is yellow, and then take all the smoke in the bottle (maybe even a little bit of water in the bucket) and hold it without coughing is a Master Smoker. You have to be in great smoking condition to do this, so if ya wanna know who can blow and who can go, use this bong!

Herald


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