|Lycaeum > Leda > Trip Reports > Salvia.. ugh|
Off the scale on the Weird-Shit-O-Meter
Substances: Salvia divinorum
After a few failed attempts at salvia I decided to try it all again with different material. I received a bag of dried salvia leaves from a friend, figuring on a repeat performance of the rest of my salvia trips (intense headache, no psychedelic effects) I powdered as many leaves as I could into 3 bowls, put fresh water in the bong and got the mega torch lighter.
Sitting online chit-chatting with some people, I expressed my hesitancy over smoking it again. Someone(who shall remain nameless[fucker, last time I listen to you :P]) convinced me to go for it.
All of my salvia attempts prior to this one had been done in total darkness with as little sound as possible. Wanting to try something different, I had the lights dimmed and had some light funky music playing. Soul Oddity wasnt the best choice, but at the time shpongle didnt exist :(
Bong hit #1 - Sweet smoke, very easy to inhale. Took the whole bowl in one
huge hit. Kept it in 10-15 seconds. Feeling kind of funny.
**From here on out I cant give an accurate order of events. I'll try to break them out in to semi-coherent chunks. **
Total ego loss. Floating in a cloudy nothing. Everything is bright white, like one of those cheesy 80's videos on MTV. Beams of color ripple through the clouds. The colors are alive. A greenish one passes through my form, it tries to communicate something with me. I dont understand. Over and over. Communication through images, they make no sense. Bits of situations, experiences, strange sounds.
I'm a 8 year old kid. I'm in a south american country, I'm speaking(and understand) spanish. ** I dont speak spanish normally ** I look around and see houses and buildings I dont recognize, but I do. I know what they are and that they are supposed to be there. I'm living inside someone elses head. We're both inside this persons body, we both have control. I know this is wrong. This is not who I should be, this is not where I should be. I panic, how do I get back? Who am I? Why am I here? All of these are answered by the other mind. I know it's not right. His parents are trying to fit me and all of my friends into the van.
Nothing. "Hello?" Nothing. "Who am I?" Nothing. "Why am I here?" Nothing. "How do I get back?" Nothing. "Where is back?" Nothing. "Is there anything else?" Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I try to explore, but I have no reference points. Just void. I cant tell if I am moving, just an endless expanse of nothing. Eons of nothing. Am I dead? Is this all there is? Is this hell? I lost it. Any trace of sanity was gone. I projected parts of me onto other things/beings. I could see them, interact with them. I made things real. When I would lose my concentration, it would all disappear. Nothing.
** I've been rewriting this part for too long now. This will have to do. I cant seem to describe spending an eternity in nothing. No words could describe the mental anguish. I give up :P **
Girlfriend returns home (20 minutes later). Her opening the door snaps me out of the trip. I'm sitting in my chair feeling VERY flat. A strange feeling starts in my head. I feel like I'm being ripped in two. This did not feel good. It stopped right above my waist. It felt like I had two parts of my body flopping around. It was the most intensely painful experience.. ever. This continued for ~5-10 minutes, and eventually wore off. 5 minutes after that I was baseline, ate dinner, watched a movie, fell asleep easy.
** I've got the fear. I doubt I will ever touch salvia again. Nothing prepared me for that kind of beating. I've had high dose shroom trips go weird, but nothing like that. Off the scale on the weird-shit-o-meter. **