Getting in Touch with Science and Nature

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Substances: Psilocybe cubensis

Upon arriving at the party, myself and my travelling companion realized that we were only the second group of people to arrive, so we made ourselves comfortable in the living room, watching a hockey game with the host and the one other person who'd arrived before us. Myself not being much of a sports fan, I interested the host in a recent purchase -- a book entitled "Psilocybin Mushrooms of the World: An Identification Guide" (a wonderfully informative and highly recommended companion for mushroom hunters, psilonauts, and other interested parties) by Paul Stamets. We passed the book around between us and enjoyed a couple of beer whilst waiting for others to arrive.

We took a brief trip outdoors onto the deck to breathe in the night air, and to partake in a little bit of hash to help us relax a bit. I'm sure most people (including myself) were a little nervous about the prospect of consuming a psychoactive substance (at least twice the dose of our previous experience). We headed back inside to listen to some music and chat a bit.

In no time at all, everyone, including the man of the hour -- the provider of the shrooms -- was in our company. It was decided that the best way to get the mushrooms down was to brew ourselves a little mushroom tea which we could then sip or gulp at our leisure. Once divided into seven portions it was evident that we had quite an abundant supply for all. I'm guessing each participant was allotted approximately 3 dried grams (of a particularly potent species).

Whilst the tea was brewing, I learned that a girl was coming, who would not be partaking, and most likely wouldn't be comfortable knowing that we're all on mushrooms. This was quite an unwelcome piece of news, and it became my only true source of discomfort throughout the evening... until I realized that she eventually consumed enough alcohol as to be just as "far gone" as ourselves.

Once the tea was prepared (9:00pm), we all filed into the kitchen to inspect and obtain our portion. Oddly, the aroma and flavour were quite pleasant. Sitting back in the living room, chatting it up, it took approximately 1/2 hour for me to finish my cup of tea and eat the remnants on the bottom of the cup. I had already begun to feel the effects 20 minutes after starting, it being part of my method to chew the mushrooms well before swallowing them (thus allowing the psilocybin to more easily and more quickly pass into the state of psilocin -- psilocybin's processed form which actually causes the desired psycho-active response).

To my surprise, and delight, the friend with whom I'd travelled to the party passed me his cup. He had only consumed part of the liquid, and none of the actual mushrooms. He invited me to finish his. Knowing a good thing when I see it, I accepted his offer, and realized that I was going to be in for a much more divine, intense trip than anticipated. Phrases like "bonus!" and "cha-ching!" went through my head briefly. I settled on "thank you".

Shortly after finishing the first cup, people started disappearing from the living room. A few of us ventured out to find them but to no avial. We could only assume they had gone for a walk. The temperature outside was quite agreeable, and the night air was clear and crisp.

Soon after receiving the second cup, I noticed that my beer was empty (I should mention that if I could have gotten away with drinking no beer at all, I would have done so, but the group I was participating with would have found this odd -- which would have given me a feeling of persecution during my trip), so I made my way to the basement to pick up another bottle. Once I arrived, with second cup of shrooms in hand, I opened the deep freeze (which was actually adjusted to be a refridgerator) and grabbed a beer, with some difficulty.

I had never before been in the basement, so I walked around a corner and took a peek around... all the while sloshing small amounts of beer into the cup to help me get the mushrooms out. The hallway before me (as the rest of the basement) was dark. It was only about 10 feet long, but it seemed to take me about 10 minutes to walk the length of it. Once I entered what appeared to be a sitting room of sorts, I couldn't help noticing that I was finding it increasingly difficult to walk (more accurately, I was reluctant to walk) -- finding holes in the floor everywhere. I perceived a dark carpet to be an open stairwell to a darker cellar. This frightened me (however, not at all deeply), so I stayed clear of that side of the room. I was quite surprised and amused when I learned the truth a short while later.

The main reason I was lurking around in the basement in the first place, to be honest, is that I was feeling a little paranoid, and uncomfortable around the group, since I knew I was to be the one with the most intense trip. I have, also, always been a little less at ease than others in group situations. After wandering around a few rooms, looking for a place to crash and spend the rest of my trip, I saw the others heading up the back lawn to the house, and I heard my name being called from upstairs, so I called back, and made my way back upstairs (realizing that hiding away in a dark basement, lying on a mattress on the floor would have been a bad idea -- a very uninspiring atmosphere). It seemed odd how once I'd had a task to complete (walking up the stairs to rejoin the group), I was able to think clearly and walk without difficulty (knowing that I'd traversed the course before and had not fallen into any pits).

Meeting the host in the kitchen, I thought it best to let him know that I'd consumed a double-dose, since I might somehow get the urge to walk out onto the deck (which is quite high) or walk off into the woods on my own. I knew that I wouldn't, but I felt it wise to at least alert someone. Everyone instantly got the drift and let me know they'd keep an eye on me.

I headed up to the upstairs washroom (see my previous report "My First Mushroom Experience" here on the Lyceaum) not only to relieve myself, but also to see if I could relive part of my previous mushroom trip. I was not disappointed. The floral wallpaper pattern which adorned the room was as comforting as ever, repeating its pattern seemingly to infinity. The flowers virtually bloomed wider before my eyes. Then, they started melting. It was by no means unpleasant, however. I also noticed quickly how the wall was beginning to breathe and pulsate. I also noticed a "wave" which was beginning to occur. While I stood there, open-mouthed in awe, another effect came into focus. Even though my eyes were clearly converging on the same point (and therefore giving me accurate stereo vision), three distinct representations of the pattern began swirling in circles independant of each other. Being a designer, well versed in colour separation techniques, I felt as if my perceptions of the different colours were somehow separate, and were roaming about on their own. Upon closer inspection I could see that there were no actual colour differences between the images. It was more closely described as seeing hilites, shadows, and luminosity rotating in separate, uniform circles. Evidently this is a difficult effect to describe, but I hope I've painted a clear enough mental picture (those who've experienced it will of course know exactly what I'm talking about).

Oddly, something else became clear in the repeating pattern of the wallpaper. For moments at a time, sections of the wall seemed to represent pole vaulters, sprinters, and other athletes, somehow symbolizing the overall concept of fitness. I understood this to be a message to myself that I should spend more time in my life keeping fit, having no real exercise routine of any kind at the moment. Since my previous trip taught me not to let work stress get me down, I felt this message was yet a further step in keeping myself healthy. My first trip taught me how to keep myself mentally healthy (keeping stress at bay), and this trip was now teaching me that I must take care of the rest of my body.

I made my way back downstairs once I'd realized that I had spent a suspicious amount of time in the washroom.

By this time (although I didn't "notice" as such at the time), I was finding it difficult to see clearly. Walking through the kitchen to sit down by the fire in the dining room was a major ordeal. I was constantly trying not to walk into the "fog" hanging in the air... Oddly, I wasn't the only one to notice this fog. Apparently, others noticed the different layers of smoke lurking quietly in the air -- almost unnoticeable, and certainly unnoticeable to anyone not under the influence of a psychoactive drug. Along with the fog, I also literally couldn't see parts of the room, so I imagine I must have been ducking and dodging (although if I had been, someone surely would have alerted me to it).

Even with this uneasy locomotion, my general state of mind could only be described as blissful and euphoric. I was embracing the sensation, subconsciously thanking nature, the mushrooms, the spores, the mycelium. I was basically in awe of the universe, my place in the universe, and the many creatures, plants and fungi on our own planet. Oddly, with this prevalent in my mind, I was still able to carry on "normal" conversations about movies, cars, even sports. However, a topic which others kept raising was that of my own "double-dose" situation. I actually became known as "the double-doser" throughout the evening. A moniker I was proud to carry, although it did make me slightly socially uncomfortable.

After briefly enjoying the fireplace, I slipped on my shoes and jacket to head out onto the back deck. I found that even though I knew it was quite cold out, I didn't actually "feel" it. Either that, or I didn't care that I felt it. I lit up a cigarette and walked to the edge of the deck to inspect a very old, very large tree. Staring into the intricate designs in the bark of its magnificently massive trunk, I found myself slipping away again into a trance. The light hitting the bark created great mountains and valleys, which began to grow and reach out to me. I felt as if I was somehow silently communicating with the tree. As odd as it sounds, knowing that many mushrooms interact with tree root systems made the bond even stronger. Its branches (bare now due to the season) were reaching down to comfort me... Almost calling me back to nature.

After spending what seemed to be an hour in "conversation" with this tree, my cigarette was still burning (I had been aware of it throughout), so I stayed outdoors looking about. Standing against the railing of the deck, I suddenly felt uneasy, as if I could at any moment fall over the edge. I also noticed that I couldn't quite SEE the edge. I decided, after a few moments, to move away. I eventually walked to a different part of the railing, and leaned against it. I was briefly panicked when I thought that it was collapsing -- ultimately to send me to the ground. I quickly stepped back and decided that stairs and railings were not worth exploring.

I became increasingly interested in the woodgrain of the deck, and noticed it swirling and swarming, climbing towards the barbeque in front of me. I found it interesting to explore this phenomenon. Although all objects were in clear focus, some were animated, others were not. Now that I think about it, only objects of nature ever became animated: The flowers represented on the wallpaper, the woodgrain of the dining room table and back deck, and the trees. This fed my feeling that I was connecting with nature.

I had brought along a little "trip toy" for any opportune moment -- a small laser pointer (similar to the type used for pointing out areas of interest in a slide presentation). Its brilliance and ability to form intriguing patterns kept a few people interested for a while, shining it up the trunks of trees, on the side of the house, diffusing it through plastic, etc. This particular pointer came with extra lenses -- lenses which create different static shapes. One of these shapes was that of a woman. I shone the "laser woman" on the face of our host's barbeque. The host and a few others came outside, aghast at what it could be or where it was coming from. It didn't take long to figure out, but a few people thought it was an hallucination which provided us with a few laughs.

We all suited up in hiking boots, jackets, etc. with beers and flashlights in hand to investigate a part of the forest outside. Unfortunately, we had only a couple of flashlights, so most of us found the going quite tough. It's difficult to explain the path of our journey, but suffice to say that we made a lot of noise, got a little lost, and woke up a few neighbours. This trek must have realistically lasted an hour, as we trudged about, getting our faces whipped with passing invisible branches, and clambering over old wire fences. We managed to lose one person for a brief panicked moment, but once we collectively quieted down, we could hear him rustling towards us in the distance.

Throughout this outdoor trek, I felt generally very good, but I also found it increasingly difficult to get about, not able to be sure if chasms were real or not -- if slopes, hills, branches, etc. were real. I decided to always stick close behind someone, and watch their footing, knowing that I would be the one with the least reliable perception (not only did I have a double dose, but I also weighed the least, I'm sure, making me theoretically more susceptible to the effects of the psilocybin).

Upon returning to the house, we piled back into the living room to listen to Pink Floyd's "The Wall" (of course). Howard Stern was on the television. I'm not generally interested in his programming, but the combination of music and visuals became hilarious. Everyone in the room was in an uproar. Excuse the poor taste, but it has to be described... The guest onscreen was a boy who was attempting to "pass gas" as many times as possible within 5 minutes, legs splayed. The combination of this and the music "Bring the Boys Back Home" was somehow so absurdly appropriate that we were all in stitches. As the music swelled louder and more dramatic, his legs splayed further and his expression grew more intense. I'm sure no one in the room was proud to be laughing so loud at something so inane, but it would have been impossible not to.

Someone popped the film "Akira" into the VCR, which was quite a bad move. Pizza was arriving, and the video was so violent it upset a few people (including myself), so we switched it off. I didn't partake in the pizza -- I was beginning to leave the planet.

Sitting back in my chair, I felt the urge to close my eyes. I did so briefly, and immediately I was catipulted out of my body. I opened my eyes again, to find myself still sitting comfortably. I regret it now, but I didn't experiment with this sensation much further. I was feeling slightly physically uncomfortable, since I was coming in for a landing (it being 5 hours since consuming the mushrooms), and I'd had about 6 beer in the duration, so I wasn't too sure how much disorientation I could handle.

After another brief kaleidoscopic wallpaper experience in the upstairs washroom, the friend who took me to the party expressed a desire to leave, so I decided it would in fact be a good time for me to depart as well. On the trip home, I knew the effects were virtually gone, and I could feel the post-trip euphoria setting in. I jumped out at home at the end of my driveway. The driveway is quite a long paved road, and I felt like walking it alone.

Walking up the driveway, I looked around me in awe, breathing in the smell of the trees around me, looking up through the clouds at the stars, and listening to the sounds of the night. The walk seemed to last for ages, and I was happy for it, as I was enjoying every step. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my roommate's car was not in the driveway, meaning I would have the house to myself for the evening. Walking up to the back door, though, panic set in. Where are my keys?!

I checked my pants pockets, with a growing sense of forboding, being far away from neighbours, and still not in a state of mind in which I'd be comfortable dealing with them (especially at 2:00am). I checked my jacket pockets and emitted the heaviest sigh of relief I have ever breathed when I laid my hand on the key ring.

I spent the next hour or two watching a movie and drinking water. The movie was "Close My Eyes", which was playing on CBC. I definitely didn't want to watch anything with violence or sensationalism (I never do anyway!). I watched the remainder of the movie not so much because I was enjoying it, but because I knew I would not be able to fall asleep in my current state of mind.

Eventually, the movie ended and I headed upstairs to bed, only to lie there for an hour, in deep thought (though amazingly comfortable). I fell asleep and disappointingly had no dreams of particular interest.

Awaking in the morning (this morning), I felt wonderfully refreshed and alive, bounding out of bed to cook a large breakfast -- a welcoming feeling for the start of another new phase of my life.

Now I fully understand the origin of the saying "tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life".