Suicidal Pedro

Another story of cactified awareness

Substances: Trichocereus

I decided on another trip, and having exhausted my supply of Pedro with the previous trip, was forced to buy another. This one was very large and cost 24 bucks. The lady called it a peruvian apple cactus, but I knew what pedro looked like, so I bought it anyways. I processed the cactus in a vareity of differant ways: the old dry and capsulize, skinned and fryed just long enough that it could slip down my throat without chewing, and just gulping the puree'd cactus.

The first day, I took a small dose (pills and the oiled cactus). I had a typical light trip. The patterns and such were present, and the body effects were all present, so I knew I had the right cactus.

The next day I decided on a large dose. I tried eating it raw, but I ended up pureeing it up and gulping. I got the start of a good trip at about ten or 10:30 (I ingested it at 7:35), but it tapered off. I was altered in my thinking, however. I walked down the street at 3:30 and saw things I interepreted as 'signs'. It was all very strange, and hard to describe, but every small aspect of that walk was interpreted by me as a portent about the future.

I got home, and I started thinking. For some reason I became severley depressed. I realized that my life was bullshit, and that everyone hated me, even my freinds and family. I felt horrible and I seriously considered suicide. Thank god I didn't. I went to sleep and woke up feeling fine, not depressed at all. Maybe the two day spree affected seratonin levels in the brain? Perhaps too much was stimulated, and the brain reacted by overproducing clean-up ensymes so that I was left with very little seratonin and thus was very depressed? Or maybe the Peyote spirit was trying to tell me something. What was revealed to me that day has really made me think about things in my life that need changing, and I'm glad it happened.