Four Friends and a Fungus

The same trip from different perspectives

Substances: Psilocybe cubensis, Peganum harmala

One day many many suns ago (~1.5 month) three friends decided that they would like to take a journey to a different place and so began discussing it. First they spoke with their friend Ja without whom they would never take a journey "Most darling Ja would you please be so kind as to honor us with your presence on our journey?" He smiled with great delight and assured the three that on the day of their joyous journey they would be four.

"So the four began to plan, what shall we take to get to the different place?" They asked each other. "Shall we use papers? Shall we use animals? No, let us use a plant for our journey, we have not travelled with the elders of the mushroom people for many moons and it is time once again to join with them in a sacred communion" And so they all agreed to meet on the day of their event to do the final preparations. But before that day could come the four friends know that they would have much other preparing to do. So they gathered in the ether that connects us to each and began to converse. "What are we doing in taking this trip? Why do we want to be here? What will be our outlook on the journey?" ma and jo decided that they were ready to move to a further mountain than they had reached on previous travels and so would spend more time in serious communion with the elders than their friends. ju had not travelled on a journey in many cycles of the seasons and was unsure of the footing of the path on which she walked so she decided to only commune with the elders for a short time and spend most of her time learning to walk the path with comfort once more. while last but most certainly not least, ja simply decided that it had been too long since he had journeyed last and so would spend a moderate amount of time with the elders. They discussed their fears and their hopes and the bits of path that they had seen in previous journeys. And they carefully discussed what sort of preparations would be necessary for the journey itself. ma declared that he would spend the week previous cleansing himself through fasting and meditation, the others agreed that they would follow a similar though not the same path. They all agreed that on the afternoon of the journey they would meet beforehand to join as a group and wash away their worries with a good soak and sweat. And as the joyous day arrived they did meet and did soak and sweat and then they removed themselves to the home of ma who had prepared before hand for their coming with candles and music. They joined in a circle and were smudged to removed malicious energy, a circle was cast, not just any circle but one that would move with them over the course of their travels, the spirits were welcomed: Air Water Earth Fire Akasha (the unknown, spirit...) and the friends greeted each other and the friend who had agreed to stay by their side during their journey. They spoke of what they hoped to acheive and wrote their fears on paper which was then burned. A small pipe containing the gentle leaves of a kind herb was passed as an offering of smoke to whatever spirits might be present. A smile and a well wish was offered. The friends moved to the preparation area to create their fuels. ma and Jo each ingested aproximately 150mg of concentrated syrian rue in anticipation of the rest of their fueling. Ju ate a small fungus and a small cap. Ja had 3.0 gm of fungus. ma had previously set three pint jars filled with young fungus aside and that morning had mixed them in with pure cranberry juice. However ma had not considered that it would be difficult to strain and so ma and Jo had to imbibe a mixture of crushed rye, mycelia, and cranberry juice. However when some orange juice and honey was added to the mix the taste was much improved and so they managed to ingest aproximately a jar each. Thus began the evening and so thus will begin each of their voices:

Ja's voice

After what seemed like endless planning and anticipation, the crucial day before our trip arrived. I finished classes, and spent a relaxing, restful evening. Jo and Ju and I went out for a wonderful dinner the night before (Ma was unfortunately unable to join us), but after this I ate no food. The next day, the four of us went to soak in the hot tub and sweat in the sauna, which left me feeling clean, relaxed, and high. We progressed to our trip location--Ma's house--and began final preparations with a ritual. I found that our ritual was a wonderful way to bring us together and makes us feel safe with each other, and safe where we were. This is something I would like to add to all my experiences with entheogens. With the ritual done, I went into the kitchen to brew my potion--about 3 grams of dried mushrooms in orange juice with what turned out to be way too much ginger. But no matter; down it went. In fact, with a more moderate amount of ginger, this would be a fairly pleasant way to ingest mushrooms.

Soon we were all sitting comfortably, listening to music--the Allman Brothers, I believe it was. As we all felt the trip coming on, we switched the music to Nomad, at Jo's suggestion. This was the first time I had heard Nomad, and I highly recommend it.

As usual, I felt nauseous for awhile. Then, with exhilarating suddenness, I broke through into the other realm. My body was clean, my mind was clear, and my trip began. I found my mind returning to the familiar, unfamiliar thoughts I had missed for so long.

I always find mushrooms to be a more colorful experience than LSD; this was no exception. Closing my eyes revealed flowing, pulsing organic patterns in rich blues and purples. The Truffula trees in a Dr. Seuss book glowed with a fresh, sacred aura. In the background, the music throbbed, overlaid with the primal sound of the digeridu. There was also a rather silly bit involving a cosmic carrot, thanks to Ju. :-)

At some point, I moved from the couch to the mattresses on the floor. The trip progressed to the point where I really couldnUt move my body coherently. So I was content to lie there and watch the ceiling flow with vaguely meso-american motifs. At one point, Ju, Ma, and I put our faces together and smiled at each other. The music faded out of my consciousness, but returned at times to speak to me: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows." "This is Truth. Remember it," said my soul inresponse.

And then, nearly as soon as it started, my trip ended. I basked in the wonderful afterglow, and waited for the others to return. When they had, we smoked a little marijuana, and, in general, we all sat back and relaxed in utter contentment. We listened to the soothing, whimsical strains of Pink Floyd's _Meddle_. Eventually we all slept. The next day, I was not at all hung over, which was a welcome relief, and a sign that the voyage I had been a good one.

Reflections:
I approached this trip with a great deal of expectation and preparation, as we all did. I found planning and thinking about what I was going to do was of great help. I have time to trip only infrequentlyQwhich makes each trip I do take much more special.

This trip was a return for me to "social" tripping--after two bad trips brought on by extreme and unjustified paranoia towards the people I was with, I had tended to isolate myself when I tripped. As this trip made me realize, this is not the most pleasurable and productive environment in which to experience entheogens.

I was successful in eliminating fear and paranoia from my trip, but I still felt at times like there was a part of me resisting the journey towards the other world. As the trip became more intense, my thoughts became more confused, and I felt at times as if I was stuck in a sort of limbo, experiencing neither this world nor the other to any productive, pleasurable degree. As a result, my memory of the trip is technically incomplete, and yet I know I remember everything that *happened*. This is frustrating. It also felt at times like the forces within me that kept me in limbo cut my trip shorter than it might have been--the shift to this reality was too sudden and too soon.

In light of these observations, my goals for my next trip will be to end this resistance and surrender my consciousness to the mushroom spirit, letting it take me where it will.

----------------------------------------------------

Jo's voice:
i approached this trip with apprehension, as i had not tripped with two of the people before. i think my apprehension was gone, however, after we had set up a very flexible structure for the trip, making it seem as if we weren't jumping into anything..

the tubs were quite nice-i think that raised our comfort level very much........

after eating the harmala extract, i began to feel a narcotic effect very quickly, as i had eaten nothing since the very early morning, and then only some crackers.. i felt somewhat disoriented as i tended to stumble slightly when walking and i was involuntarily quivering (has happened before on rue, seems to be common). after drinking about 2/3 to 3/4 a litre of the cranberry extract, i went into the living room and laid down. i wasn't sure whether i was going to vomit for some time, and i had already launched into high gear. my internal dialogue was nearly nonexistent at that time, however, consisting only of concern for bodily function (do i have too pee, am i puking?, etc.) the mj really calmed the nausea a lot. from there, the evening is a blur of 'is'-nesses and glossolalia-i kept losing my conceptual grasp on language melting emotion into language and producing these sounds or 'words', i guess, in my head that made utterly no sense in the context of the english language. i would try to revery back to the english language and would begin categorizing things but then again go back to realizing 'they are.' then, what is? or, what is it without language to put it in a nice little drawer someplace. what _is_ that ketchup? i went through this loop many many many times, until i got distracted by the music. Nomad, it was, with the man saying "turn your face to the sun." this somehow resonated in my gut. to the sun! through my conditioning: light->truth->'is'-ness! i was trying to grasp the platonic forms but to do so i think i would have needed to grok infinity again, and i wasn't near there. i was seeing the possibility for entering the 'mind' of infinity, but i couldn't quite get there so instead i was wallowing around in this thing of language we use to break things down into nice little finite and easily digestible packets. i didn't reach that 'kernel' mode, as icouldn't stop my beserk dialogue at all. i just couldn't silence my processor! i had seen that possibility, and i was going nuts inside trying to rationalize it, make it finite and go down my linear throat.

i remember the music had an especially strong effect on me, as my thoughts would become part of the music and i would respond to the music as an outside source even though my thoughts had just inserted themselves in there! it was an interesting game at times, but it proved to be quite confusing at several times when i said things about the music aloud that just didn't exist on the compact disc. he he..

*whew*

:o)
jo

__________________________________________

Ju's voice:

This journey was a sort of reincarnation back into the world of entheogens for me. The path had become too treacherous for me, I chose a different path for quite some time. But I always knew it was there, waiting in case I needed to find it again. I decided now was time. I prepared to find the path once more. I spent a few weeks deliberating, introspecting, working through my fears and uncertainties. The day of the journey arrived. I knew where the path lay, I was ready to follow it once more. I decided to take things slowly, to prevent myself from being overwhelmed, to allow myself to have a positive experience once more. I ingested a minute amount of the fungus. I knew a positive and loving environment surrounded me. I was with close friends who were there to help. I was in a safe home and knew I was free to experience the fungus, the only negativity would come from myself. I had to ensure it wouldn't.

After an hour or so, I ate another cap as everything felt ok. Within the next hour, reality metamorphosized as I knew it would. Everything was good. I laughed and smiled and found myself surrounded by color and music. Time recessed into the distance...suddenly I realized we had listened to the same cd 3 times now...

This trip was exactly the re-introduction I needed. It was full of laughter and good feelings. It had its bit of introspection but overall it was extremely positive. It reassured me that I was ok, that entheogens were 'safe' once more for me. I lost the fear of loss of control I used to have, and it hasn't returned over the course of my more recent experiences. It was a stepping stone of sorts, a departing point for more introspection with higher dosages. I had found the path and had a strong foothold as I proceeded again at long last...

__________________________________

ma's voice:
the syrian rue didn't hurt my stomach at all but did leave me feeling slightly off center. however the amount and texture of the fuel (we used three jars of cubensis covered rye that had been blended with pure cranberry juice (very bitter) we weren't able to strain it but by adding some honey and orange juice to it we got something the consistancy of a milk shake (yech) and choked down enough of it to get an effect (about 3/4 of it for me)) was leaving me feeling bloated so Jo and i smoked a little marijuana which immediately helped my stomach. As the journey started i noticed that there were (surprise!) cartoon mantis shaped heads running down the wall with their mouths open, very escher. Then the buzzing started, when i am very very high i hear a noise that can only be described as the sound that an electric motor running in over drive makes. i call it blood noise. There was a period where everything kinda faded away in the blur of pure information. i remember two periods very well, they kinda interspersed each other; i remember reaching a point where i existed only as an "i" kinda funny that everyone talks about ego loss and i became pure ego. Everything else was a sub process. You could say i became a Unix system (though i wouldn't know which flavor i would guess that it was either Linux or BSD from the kernal size (very small) sorry i know that was bad) i was the kernal and everything; breathing, peeing, drinking everything was a subprocess that slowly moved up the que untill it was given processor time at which point the necessary programs were called; stand_up walk etc... i had drivers that gave me input and controlled functions from my input devices (that was the worst, i kept trying to find a way around my input devices because it was so clear to me that my understanding of the world was totally based on the limits that they imposed on me. But everytime i would find a way to expand around them i would see a new set of bariers fall into place. Very frustrating. i spent a good deal of time under the idea that time was a function of exchange of knowledge, so i would continue to refresh my awareness of my world (trying to remember what a girl was :), i identified personas in the world by who they were in my life (my wife and daughter were away on vacation) everyonce in a while i would ask if am (my wife) was here or if one of the people was an am not because i mistook her for my wife but because i had an awarness of what she embodied in my life and wasn't sure if this women was the same embodiment or something different. When talking on the phone to a friend about his dog i referenced the dog by refering to my cat by name and so identified a place in my order for it. Exchange of information was litterally the only way i kept track of change (that and sub-processes changing priority). At the end of the night i finally lay down in my bed (very lonely without my wife or daughter) and was overtaken by such total physical exhaustion and bliss of rest that i simply stayed completely alert for a good 2 hours just thinking and playing in my mind. All in all very enjoyable. i didn't really discover anything new but i did reaffirm things that i knew and had a good time as well.