So Like My First Time

A more-than-possible paean

Substances: DMT

Ever since my first couple times doing DMT, i have had a far more difficult time remembering what happened, and there was a fear that kept me from taking the plunge too often. Both of these were cleared out of me the other night though when i smoked it again amongst new friends: it was once again lucidly available to my memory and i had the joy of attempting to put words to the unlanguageable. Enjoy!

50mg synthetic DMT in a glass pipe on a small bed of dill, three large, hot, plasticy tokes:

Upon inhalation, the trembling darkness before me crystallized
instantly into a shimmering vortex of lime-colored tessera and began a
meticulous implosion in upon itself. Pulses of sinuous electric energy
shot along it from behind me and I could see them disappear down its
infinite corridor. Each one came faster and faster and faster until this
typhoon like tunnel was throbbing with supple, supernova pulsations. It
was then that I began to accelerate, an auditory drone that seemed to
flange at the edges of my being propelling me along. I couldn't believe
the breakneck speed with which I was beginning to move, like a proton in
a hyperspatial supercollider. The breathtakingly ecstatic sensation of
being literally shot out of the confines of my corporeal body was
overwhelming, and already my mind was grasping wildly about for some
semblance of familiarity. No previous DMT journey had ever moved this
fast. The vortex started coiling then, curling and cycling into its
cylindrical self, and I became aware that it was but one strand in a
warping and wefting dimension which was now materializing and taking on a
thousand outlandish forms all around me. Ahead was an entirely
ludicrous, tensile, concentric, mandala-like disco-medusa that wore about
it a technicolor dreamcoat of fibrillating antennae, surrounded by an
ultraviolet aura. Instantly I could tell it was alive: some sort of a
sentinel. Then seemingly out of nowhere and from every direction at once
came these freakish tentacles of liquid lapis lazuli. They began moving
together with an almost orchestral hyperprecision, and I was completely
mesmerized - it was like nothing I had ever seen. I had absolutely no
idea what I was looking at - there must literally have been thousands of
them - I was utterly flabbergasted. I knew I must find a way past this
creature though, as extraordinary as she was. We were still cruising
along at the speed of light, now descending backwards together through an
amoeboid, octahedral gallery of iridescent vaults. It was at this moment
that I became suddenly aware we were not alone. The vaults seemed to zoom
explosively outward then and the gallery expanded ad infinitum into a
gargantuan, labrynthine, almost interstellar space, and through every
vault poured the miraculous and zany imps who make the tryptamine
hyperdimension their home. The tentacles of lapis lazuli gathered these
capricious, multi-colored enigmas in towards the center, and became the
architectonic scaffolding of their new multi-dimensional reality, a world
which I found myself dab smack in the middle of. It was like a liquid
mind ecology of staggering and alien complexity, the mind as it crosses
over into quantum warpdrive and migrates ever further out into the
oceanic beyond. At this point the glorious geometries transcended what
is even vaguely feasible in this three dimensional mundane, constantly
concrescing into new and variegated permutations, exfoliating out of
themselves what might be called hyperspherologies of the divine, and to
look anywhere was to be shot clean through with scintillating amazement.
Crowding and cramming themselves into my field of vision were thousands
upon thousands of beings of every imaginable sort and many that were
completely unimaginable. They were everywhere jabbering in indecipherable
tongues, juggling incandescent neon microworlds of dancing beings, and
morphing with a zen-like, diaphanous fluidity that remains a primal
miracle no matter how often you lay your all too human eyes on it. The
primordial intelligence being manifest before me was palpable,
undeniable, transcendently amazing - it shook me to my core in a
more-than-real gleeful profundity. All I could do was sit there in divine
liquid awe, my soul gaping wide open, and stare at the incalculable
proportions of bizarreness and the down right weird that lay before me.
It was like being entertained by the 76,000 piece orchestra of an alien
civilization in whose classical music each note is not merely a musical
tone, but an entire world, each just as intricate and nuancical as our
own. You have a sense of being swarmed by the whimsical mastermind
artforms of an extremely eccentric Boolean contortionist, a diabolical
merry go round of linguistic Rubix cubes, 13th dimensional millipedes saying
themselves to themselves as they make love, and impossible Gordian knots
dancing the jitterbug at a lyrical lightspeed: a gelatinous ballet of
endlessly self-juxtaposing pirouettes. You realize all at once you have
arrived and are now having darshan with this gigantically insectoid,
otherworldly Oz.
lemme have a drink of water... ok, here we go again:
They came at me again and again, a more than possible tsunami of
opalescent combobulations, like rivers of music and miracles and clowns,
the flood gates of my soul thrown wider than wide with the sheer
magnitude of this dazzling, world-devouring spectacle. It was the primal,
otherworldly bewilderness of the Andalusian gardens that grow in the
antipodes of the mind, the crystalline vegetal perplexity of its
delectable ecologies spilling and dripping and pouring like liquid
diamonds from my eyes. The presence of what is awesome, what is wildly
and passionately and numinously alive, filled every meridian in the vast
continent of my expanded being, an intensity of joy and love and life
coursing like heavenly ambrosia through my electrified veins. It was as
though I myself was god, moving through liquid ecologies of god, the
self-crystallizing emerald labyrinths of the tryptamine dreamtime, a
marvelous infundibulum of plasmoidal calisthenics. What occurred was a
total meltdown of everything I know and hold dear, utter surrender into
the honeycomb lovewomb of the universe reborn, born anew in a thousand
unendingly magnificent eyes, and Maya and Lila handheld spinning in
sundream dandelions, my five senses spinning like a zillion gyroscopes
round the centripetal amethyst of this all and everything.

I was there, and then I was back - zap like before - I was back before I even knew I was back, the dimensions subsiding very quickly within me as the last few molecules of DMT were cracked wide open and gone. The room before me buzzed and shimmered like the most unlikely dream. The world? Oh yes - I remember - I like it there. Hello people. You look so normal and good. But wait, something just happened. What was that thing? Oh YES, OH MY LORD YES.....everything was still a shimmering mindmirage or bliss and joy and awe. WOW...... I think I said that: WOW......

To think that we all spend hours there every night, after *we* have been metabolized away that is, and that every day the collectivity of human consciousness looks upon that miracle for over 50 billion hours, is more than any of us can even begin to begin to understand. Seven minutes spent in that dimension, the primal furnace of our being, is enough for most people to think about for the rest of their lives. How miraculously absurd and awe-inspiring is our situation as humans then, that we are somehow built around this certain little molecule, only four atoms away from serotonin, the neurotransmitter which mediates and colors every aspect of our waking lives. It is like the human body is a door, a portal, and DMT is the key that opens our experience to the all-possible, the everything dimension, which surrounds us on all sides though we see it not. That the simple quantum difference of four atoms can open this for anyone to see is, and will remain, the greatest, most mysterious enigma in this life. The day we unlock its secrets we will for the first time awaken from the dream.

peace, love, joy...