Divine Mystical Tryptamine

DMT and LSD

Substances: LSD, DMT

so anyway, after she left I continued with my usual shenanigans, dancing, yoga, vocalization. I felt a little held back in my vocalization, like I was afraid of being too loud (not usually a problem.. but I live in a flat in the city now). I was struggling with the issue of taking more... On the one hand, I've been getting a lot of feedback from friends ("your interest in drugs really seems to be going through a renassaince (sp?)" and the like... and its kind of true, reading about it everyday makes me want to take them :) and in a way they're right (though I'm so moderate compared to my earlier self its almost ridiculous), and on the other hand, I really haven't tripped hard in over a year...

Finally I decided to smoke my last hit of DMT (did I neglect to mention this is entirely fictional? I really need to have words with the anonymous author)...

So I lit a candle and filled the glass pipe with the tiny orange crystals. Music was playing (last track on Berrnhardts Atlantis Angelis.. I forget the name of the piece). I took the three hits, and as I finished the third, I looked at the glass pipe in my hand and realized I was completely lost. I had no idea where I had even got lost from, so finding myself seemed extremely difficult. I knew the pipe was responsable, but could not remember how. I put it down. It looked like alien hands held the candle and the pipe... and reality imploded and shattered. I was sitting, then there were 8 of me, spread about the room, then nothing was familiar at all.

I spent about 3-5 infinite minutes in a constantly shifting continuum of geometric bizareness. I had never in my life been so utterly, completely confused. I didn't even remember how I had gotten into this shifting insane funhouse. I felt like I'd been there forever, always tortured by some vast entity (I felt like if the "elves" were telling me anything, they were saying, "look how totally we can discombobulate your mind puny mortal") with no hope that it would ever end. Everytime I tried to grasp anything familiar, thought or vision, it would morph into something else. Every so often I caught a glimpse of something familar (the candle). I blew it out in a desparate attempt to wield some sort of control over the situation.

Eventually I realized there was music (that there was even such a thing as music) and I recognized it and so began the journey back. For the next 10 minutes or so I shifted through an infinite number of possible realities, slowly stearing back, trying to remember the one from which I had come. I'd have the right speakers for a second, then they would change into something else and something else again. Eventually I began to recognize the room and my menagerie (sp?) of instruments, or at least a similar set of instruments. I very much felt that if I went wrong I would end up in the wrong reality, and would remember all the thoughts and memories of whoevers point of view I landed in, and permanantly forget where I had come from.

For a long time I had no concept of gender or race (and shifted myself through quite a few permutations of these). A piece at a time I remembered myself, sometimes wrong, no... thats not it, yes, thats right. I almost wouldn't have worried, except that I remembered proposing to a someone (couldn't remember his/her face) and that it was important that I return for them. Eventually I did land and when I did I sang a strange and beautiful and ancient song of joy. I danced with tremendous energy and then wrote myself a note.. because I remembered that place from once before, and was afraid I might forget. Basically saying, "you do not ever want/need to see that again. You don't ever want to smoke this stuff again (except in the case of a nuclear holochaust, in a desparate last ditch effort to escape :)."

Looking back on it, I'm more inclined to believe my brain was flooded with tremendous concentrations of tryptamines and I wasn't really in any trans-dimensional danger... but who knows. I think if I do this again I'll lean to the ayahuasca. This was so far removed from anything familiar useful etc that I don't really see what good it could do me. When I finally settled, I was more sober than I had been in months. My eyes were still dilated, but I felt no trace of the acid. The only negative effect was aphasia, which evaporated by the next day.

This was not a bad trip, though it was extrememly terrifying. It reinstated in me a profound appreciation of my sanity, and how fragile and amazing it is. It is certainly a joy to be alive and sane on this earth. I probably won't smoke DMT again (at least not for a long time). Not that I'm afraid of it so much as I can't really see what good it does to be that discombobulated. I think the ayahuasca will be more intresting as the stuff around the central conflaguration was great. (If it does get that confusing, please warn me. The last thing I want to do is spend 3 hours there...)

Anyway, in closing.... Not the least bit recommended. Interesting as hell, but I wouldn't push it on anyone. Neither would I deny it to anybody (anyone psychicly stable that is) how wanted to do it. Other experiences with this were intiguing, but I think I finally hit that hypothetical 10 on the intensity scale, and wont soon seek to repeat the experience.