pshmell
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« on: September 30, 2009, 12:57:16 AM » |
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I just started taking a class called The Way of Haiku and Haibun Poetry. Today (the first day) the professor asked us to go outside for 30 minutes and write a few haiku. I'd like this to be a place not only for me to document my poems and get feedback, but also for other people to experiment with haiku. It's very fun. light bounces-
absorbed by the eye,
luna is born the sky fades
blue hues to bright white-
severed by the trees the sound of a foot
scrapes the path:
a journey |
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Kosmo
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« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2009, 05:51:43 AM » |
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"If a haiku is an insight into a moment of experience, a haibun is the story or narrative of how one came to have that experience."
I like your attempts. Your prof isn't insistent on the 5,7,5 syllabic format of classic haiku? Probably a good thing, since form is less important than substance, imo.
I enjoy trying to fit something of substance to rules of form, as in the classical haiku. I never heard of haibun, so now I have something to learn. Thanks!
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pshmell
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« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2009, 11:12:27 PM » |
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horse grazing
bus flies by
still grazing
fresh fruit
sold and bought
bought and sold
keychain dangles
keeping the beat
tick tock
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mirrorman
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i'd like to wake up now.
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« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2009, 07:00:17 PM » |
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loving you is hard
but not as hard as dokken
that shit truly rocks
gleaned by an old friend from a book of haikus
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"out of the frying pan and into the stomach"
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Newfound_wonder
Virus with shoes
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Turn on, Tune in, Take over
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« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2009, 07:37:57 PM » |
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schizophrenia
amphetamine psychosis
eating disorder.
Third law of motion
Action leads to reaction
Reincarnation.
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Know the rules but break them, think outside the box, think for yourself. Instead of living in a narrow-minded, linear way, live laterally, like the Fibonacci spiral; always developing, flourishing, and thriving.
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pshmell
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« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2009, 09:00:09 PM » |
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newfound, i love those! excellent weaving together of two.. cultures, did you write them?
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Mantis
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'He's a gay'
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« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2009, 06:01:46 AM » |
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To convey one's mood In seventeen syllables Is very diffic © JOHN COOPER CLARKE. John Cooper Clarke is a British punk poet, I love his stuff. I also love haiku but I'm rubbish at it. I tend to concentrate too hard on getting the count right and forget about content. This is one of mine which I think might be a rip-off (I think I remember a Japanese haiku about an umbrella). Joyful autumn breeze A womans red umbrella Leaps with whirling leaves pshmell: I love your haiku: the sound of a foot
scrapes the path:
a journey But I want it to read: the sound of a foot scrapes the path: The Postman! It reminded me of being a kid on my birthday waiting and listening for the postman, hoping to get some cards and even a present! Not a criticism, just saying what it inspired in me  |
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pshmell
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« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2009, 10:24:39 AM » |
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mantis, thank you! i'm glad it inspired you so. don't worry about the syllables, don' worry about anything. if a haiku comes to you, it comes. if not, too bad. |
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pshmell
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« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2009, 04:25:18 AM » |
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tension builds
slow but steady
clap of thunder
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x
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« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2009, 10:17:40 PM » |
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I dreamt of something But when I woke it was gone Like dust in the wind Damn this shit is hard Can't think of a fucking thing I'd rather get stoned.  |
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« Last Edit: November 16, 2009, 10:28:18 PM by x »
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Freedom, just around the corner for you,
But with truth so far off, what good would it do?
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pshmell
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« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2009, 01:31:59 PM » |
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here is a tanka-haiku-tanka sandwich i did pendulum drawn back and let go god breathes life into his creation in an awesome transformation of potentiality to reality swinging forth, happiness and back, to suffering a dog chases his own tail at the asymptotic futility of grasping at clouds tranquil death chuckles and sits still betwixt the poles Also, I have attached my final portfolio/paper for my Haiku class this quarter, with plenty of Haiku, Renga, Haibun and Tanka poetry, if anyone is interested |
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« Last Edit: December 11, 2009, 02:05:12 PM by pshmell »
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WeeDie
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selfexcited circuit
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« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2009, 01:45:31 PM » |
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that's nice pshmell. but does death equal neutrality? death appears to pillage in random and chaotically.
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"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." -Voltaire
"It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry." - Thomas Paine
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
"It is not for him to pride himself who loveth his own country, but rather for him who loveth the whole world. The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens."
- Baha'u'llah
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pshmell
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« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2009, 02:06:55 PM » |
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that's nice pshmell. but does death equal neutrality? death appears to pillage in random and chaotically.
thank you. i suppose i could have titled this poem karma, to make more sense of it. Death is neutrality in the sense that, when you are dead, you are no longer chasing your own tail. I understand what you mean, though, but that is looking at it from a more cosmic perspective. I wrote this while on speed, so I was very wrapped up in the Human Experience lens. |
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« Last Edit: December 11, 2009, 02:08:25 PM by pshmell »
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pharmanimal78
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« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2009, 02:11:32 PM » |
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I wonder if the dirty limerick/haiku thread still exists. Kosmo & infraredroses were consummate pros of the craft in that one, IIRC.
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Moo
A puffing and gazing and grazing
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Walk and Look
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« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2009, 03:34:40 PM » |
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Was just thinking of that thread as I was reading Mis.
*~*~*~*
He who is unknown
will bring feasts of beasts and feet
And we all leave full
*~*~*~*
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-Moooooooo
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parlerlibre
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"I just don't want to die without a few scars."
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« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2009, 02:55:54 PM » |
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chill is in the air
he leaves my life, goodbye.
will we meet again?
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The Lycaeum Forums » Arts » Poetry and Literature (Moderators: Kosmo, Moo)Topic: 
Haiku and other variations