** The following is a fictional short story **
There’s a lot of things I want to say about MDMA. To expropriate the words of Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I have a pretty extensive history with this substance, and would like to share some of what I have learned.
I’ve only got two strict rules when it comes to MDMA. Rule number one: NEVER take a pressed pill. That’s important, so I’m going to say it again. Never, ever take a pressed pill. Why? Go check out any of the the pill testing results out there. It’s a real mixed bag, you might get anything in a pressed pill. Chances are, its not MDMA. Chances are, that pill you are about to eat is garbage.
http://forums.lycaeum.org/index.php/topic,25953.msg262775.html#msg262775Scroll down to the 2008 subject index, under “Ecstasy” to get an idea of what I’m talking about. Most pills don’t contain any MDMA, or if they do it gets mixed with all kinds of weird shit. Party pills are almost never clean.
From EcstasyData.org, 1996-2009:
MDMA only: 36.3%
MDMA + something: 19.9%
No MDMA: 43.7%
Maybe some people feel happy playing pressed pill roulette, but not me! Five times in my life I have broken this rule. One time I got a good pill of MDMA, the other four times I got other stuff. One pill was MDA, which was actually pretty nice. The other times, I got a bogus pill (did nothing), a weird mixed pill which made me feel sick, and a party pill that was probably piperazines + ketamine or something like that. Gross
Rule number two: NEVER take MDMA with a harmala alkaloids (MAOI). This rule I’ve never broken. Why shouldn’t you do this? Simple: You might die. Serotonin syndrone sounds severely unpleasant and is potentially fatal. Vomitting, trouble regulating body temperature, delerium, possibly seizures. No high is worth that.
So those are my rules. Other than this, Erowid has a lot of good suggestions of things you should and shouldn’t do, if choosing to engage in this substance. Over the years, I have done everything you aren’t supposed to do. Such as… taking extremely large doses, redosing, redosing again and again long past the point of reason and moderation. Taking the drug is hot environments and dancing for hours, not replenishing fluids properly and thus having my electrolyte balance thrown off. Not sleeping and not eating properly. Taking the drug two or three days in a row. Using the drug frequently, in a recreational and abusive manner. Occasionally being subjected to speedy cut MDMA despite seeking out “pure” powder. Everything you aren’t supposed to do, is what I’ve done. Thus, I am in a good position to comment on the less-than-optimal drug experiences.
I do try and take some precautions to reduce the risks of my use. These include, doing my best to stay well hydrated (including balancing electrolytes), and trying to stay well rested and well fed. Trying to enter the experience in a good set and setting, and to be feeling good in my body. Eating lots of gogi berries and other foods high in antioxidants. If I take care of myself before, during and after then the negative effects and aftereffects can be greatly reduced. I’ve had amazingly beautiful experiences as well as amazing brutal ones.
So, you want to know more about MDMA? First of all, you’d better make sure your product is clean. Take the baggie and rub it between your fingers. If you feel any grittiness, like little crystal shards, throw it out because it is cut with speed. Or give it to your friend who was labelled “ADHD” and medicated with stimulants as a kid. At least he will appreciate it. Trust me, you don’t want speedy MDMA.
Let’s start with dosage. On Erowid it says:
Oral MDMA Dosages
Threshold 30 mg
Common for small or sensitive people 50 - 75 mg
Common for most people 75 - 125 mg
Common for large or unsensitive people 125 - 175 mg
Required by few (side effects increase) 200 + mg
Now let’s discuss Papy’s own dosage scale:
Threshold dose: 60-75 milligrams. This is actually a very nice level, usually. It gives me a burst of energy and a radiance of mood. Nothing strong or overwhelming, just a nice mild enhancement. This is a good level for dancing, for enjoying social situations, or to enhance one of your favourite psychedelics. Half a dose at the tail end of your acid trip can brighten your party up beautifully. At this level, there is only the gentlest of come-downs, and almost no after effects. This level seems well tolerated by the body.
Normal dose: 125-150 milligrams. This level takes me deeper in, giving me that true euphoria and empathogenic effect that I love so much.
200 mg is where Erowid’s dosage scale ends, however this is where the real fun begins. As you step up the dose of MDMA, the effects can actually increase in a greater-than-linear fashion. I find that 200 mg is a really nice starting dose. Take it all at once, the feeling when it comes on is unbelievable. Absolute openness and rising euphoria. It is fucking incredible. But that’s the thing about MDMA, isn’t it? It is too easy to love. How can you not love it?
300 mg used to be my standard dose. I used to be of the opinion that “if you aren’t doing 300 mg, then you aren’t getting the full effect!” Which is true. 300 mg of clean, pure MDMA can make trees turn into butterflies and have you flying at altitudes unlimited. This stuff does become pretty hallucinogenic at high doses, the visual effects remind me a lot of cactus or 2C-I. Warm colour enhancement and some geometric patterning. If you want to really know what it’s like to be “high as a kite” then this is it. Honestly, this is as high of a dose that anyone should take I feel. Anything over three hundred miligrams is overkill, you don’t get the same quality of high and the after effects become much worse. All you get over 300 mg is more of a speedy high, not the warmth and euphoria.
Redosing: As I was saying, 300 mg of clean MDMA is incredible. Here’s the thing about doing so much, though: When you start to come down, you are going to want to do more. I can almost guarantee it. Coming down from the clouds with a bump isn’t fun. Why not just do some more? Bump… bump… another 100 mg maybe, or 200. Thus I get sucked into the vicious cycle of redosing. Each time, the “come-up” high is less intense and lasts for a shorter period of time. Even though I know it is not worth it, the desire and compulsion to do more is strong. As with most addictive drugs, as the quality of the experience drops off, paradoxically the feeling of satisfaction after taking the drug rises.
Once upon a time I was at a music festival. My friend suggested eating some chocolate mushrooms, which I took him up on. He said they were very clear headed and easy on the body, and I trusted him. So we each ate about 4 grams worth. Perhaps my memory was a little scrambled from doing around 200 mg of MDMA the night before. Anyway, we chatted and forgot entirely about eating the mushrooms. Five minutes later, we thought it would be fun to do some MDMA. 150 mg? Why not take two, he said… Sure, 300 mg it is. Only after swallowing the capsules did I remember about the mushrooms. Wow, this is going to be some ride! And it was. Un.Believable. In.Fucking.Credible.
However, we started doing little “top up” doses. Having started early in the afternoon, suddenly I found it was 5 AM. I had taken around 750 mg total of MDMA that night. Plus a drop of liquid acid in the evening, and the mushrooms which had long since worn off. It was chilly in the pre-dawn time, and I was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and no shoes. I was coming down, sketched out, anxious. I was pretty freaked out and for the first time in my life, I found myself walking towards the Sanctuary space, “a calm space for people who have partied too high and for too long.” The girl who looked after me was nice, she brought me a blanket and a cup of chamomile tea, enquiring as to my liquid and food intake after I described my situation. I felt tired and lay down on a bed to catch a few hours rest. Too much, I said to myself. Too much MDMA, too often.
Despite the experience of the night before, the next night I was back in the swing of things. I ate a couple HBWR seeds, and was chewing quids of kratom since it seemed to balance my mood and bring back the effects of the MDMA somewhat. Over the course of the night I ingested another 600 mg. Stupid? Yes. Honestly, it is never worth it to dose MDMA three days in a row. On the second day you can still get high by ramping up the dose, but by the third day my mind and body have nothing left to give. Instead of warmth, empathogenesis and euphoria, there is only an anxious speedy feeling and still that desire to do more. To finish up the dirty little buzz I was creating, I snorted a bump of cocaine cut with speed and had a drag off a cigarette. I had never smoked or done cocaine before. At dawn, I dropped the final capsule of MDMA. The high was good for awhile, but when I came down it was brutal. I had a vision of the destruction of humanity and cried for hours, feeling totally broken.
So if you do the math, you can see that I did about 1.5 grams over three days. The after effects of such a binge can range from shitty to really awful, depending on the quality of the MDMA. It runs my immune system down a lot, making it easy to get sick. You also have to recover from the sleep and food debts accumulated. Sometimes I would get dizzyness or vertigo sensations for a couple days. Sometimes sleep cycles are disrupted for a couple days. The emotional crash can be pretty mild and okay, or I may feel super emotional and burnt out. I definitely brought some strife into my relations with those I love due to post-binge moodiness.
Ahh, MDMA. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. First it giveth, then it taketh away. These days, I have lost my enrapturement with the substance. I feel I should take MDMA very infrequently if at all, and never take too high of a dose. Honestly 75 mg is enough for a rush of energy and some nice but mild empathogenic effects. I feel this would be a good dose for party situations, and I could easily extend and amplify the effects with a good jar of kratom tea. Kratom synergizes nicely with MDMA, amplifying the warm fuzzy feeling and easing the comedown. I feel with such a low dose of MDMA the after effects are hardly noticeable.
Three to four months between doses seems the minimum needed to truly have my biochemistry back to normal functioning. It takes this long to truly clear the tolerance which builds to MDMA. Don’t kid yourself that it is possible to dose once a month and still get a good effect each time. Plus, in my experience once a month becomes every three weeks, which becomes twice a month, which becomes weekly. One of them slippery slopes, I guess.
Ahh, MDMA. So long, bitch, I’ve found a new best friend. His name is mescalito. Ahh, mescaline! Better than the best MDMA could ever hope to be. Everything you love about acid and ecstasy without everything you hate about acid and ecstasy. Warm, fuzzy empathy, pleasing sensory enhancement and geometric visuals. Not pushy like either of those substances. Clear headed, not socially awkward. Energizing without being overstimulating. It feels like a very real experience, not one that is over-the-top and a little fake.
Ahh, mescaline. This is what it would be like, if MDMA took five hours to finish coming up and another seven hours before you came down. It is like rolling for twelve hours, except after four or five the visual effects really pop out. Ahh, mescaline. That perfect feeling of serene contentment that you bring. True peacefulness, compassion and connection on all levels of being.
You’re best bet for mescaline is to get some peruvian torch cactus. The proper preparation is to make a concentrated tea. This takes time but is well worth it. For peruvian torch, the right dose is as much as you can stomach. Drink the tea until your stomach tells you no more. When even the thought of another sip makes you queasy, then you have had enough. Depending on how clean you are in body and mind going into the trip, and how well you have prepared the cactus, you may be able to stomach as much as 50 grams of cactus. Twenty to thirty grams is enough for a good effect, but the trip is pretty subtle in many ways. I have always felt I could go comfortably deeper, even on high doses.
To prepare the cactus, weigh out your intended dose (up to 50 grams per person) and crush it to a powder in a mortar and pestle. Get a really big stock pot, add the cactus to the bottom and fill up generously with water. The key to cactus is pretty constant stirring as well as low heat. The heat should never be raised about a light simmer, and the contents need to be stirred frequently so they don’t fall to the bottom of the pot and burn. Caramelized cactus tastes pretty gross, believe me.
Anyway, you want to do four boilings of the plant material for three hours each time. The first boiling you will notice that the cactus swells up as it absorbs water, and becomes thick and slimy. Three hours of boiling is enough to break down this slime layer and allow you to filter the cactus through a fine mesh bag (I use sprouting bags, they work much better than a t-shirt or something like that). The liquid is squeezed out of the cactus marc, which is then returned to the pot for the next boiling. Each boiling becomes progressively lighter in colour.
As you are doing the last three boilings, you can start reducing the first wash of liquid. Put it in a big pot and keep it on quite low heat. The reduction pot does not need to be stirred frequently like the boiling pot, since most of the plant material has been filtered out. You want the liquid to be just warm enough to steam, not so hot as to bubble at all. Slow reduction is key to having a drinkable tea. As the second, third and fourth boilings are finished, you can strain them and add the liquid to your reduction pot.
All told, it will take you about two days to process the cactus. Usually I can do three boilings and start the reduction on the first day, and do the final boiling and final reduction on the second day. Reduce the liquid to a volume you feel would be easy to drink in several sips, but not so far that it becomes thick and caramelized. I usually reduce to the point that individual doses are around half a cup of liquid.
The advantage of doing this lengthy prepartion of the cactus is that you can stomach a much larger amount of cactus. Remember the first boiling, when the cactus swelled up and got all slimy? If you eat the straight cactus, it does that in your stomach which is pretty gnarly. When properly prepared as tea, the body load is pretty manageable.
It is a good idea to eat a light meal a couple hours before drinking the cactus. Complex carbohydrates are good to give you energy throughout the trip, but avoid heavy foods like nuts or meat. When you drink the cactus tea, have a dish of sliced citrus fruit (limes or oranges work best) to suck on after taking a sip. The acids in the citrus neutralize the bitter taste of the alkaloids immediately. If you have done a good job preparing the tea, it will taste vaguely sweet alongside the alkaloidal bitterness. It is good to drink the tea slowly over an hour or more, to ease the body into the trip.
You will feel the cactus almost immediately, it has a powerful presence in the body. Very medicinal feeling. It takes four to five hours for the cactus to get into full swing. Unlike most drugs, the worst part of a cactus trip comes at the beginning. Your stomach may feel a little tight and burbly for the first two or three hours, and the initial come-up is stimulating enough to sometimes cause a mild anxiousness. Once you make it through the first three hours, it is smooth sailing. If you feel inclined, a little pot can calm the nauseous body load nicely.
So if you are thinking about getting into MDMA, try to stick with the suggestions on Erowid. Don’t do too much, too often. Better yet, skip the MDMA and go straight to the cactus.
Love
